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How To Deal With A Stubborn Child?

Dealing with stubborn children is a challenge for parents because getting them to do even basic chores like taking a shower, eating a meal, or going to bed is a daily battle. Parents inadvertently encourage assertive behavior in children, by giving in to tantrums.
The best way to deal with a stubborn child is to show them that their behavior is not working. Please pay attention to their good behavior to achieve the desired result. Some tips that may help deal with a stubborn child.

How To Deal With A Stubborn Child?

Qualities of a stubborn child
Not every child who practices free will is stubborn. It is crucial to understand if your child is stubborn or determined before taking any vigorous action. Strong-willed kids can be brilliant and creative.They ask a lot of questions, which may appear as rebellion. They have opinions, and they are “doing.” On the one hand, stubborn kids stick to their ideas and won’t be ready to listen to what you have to say.

Here are some other characteristics that stubborn children may display

They have an urgent need to be recognized and listened to. So that might catch your attention a lot.
They can be very independent.
They are committed and determined to do what they like.
All kids get tantrums, but stubborn kids may do so often.
They have strong leadership qualities – they can be ‘bossy’ at times.
They like to do things at their own pace.
Managing a stubborn child can be difficult, but it isn’t all bad.
Stubborn Child Psychology: Understanding Stubborn Children
If a determination is one of your strong suits, you’d love to see it in your kids too. But the hard part is knowing the difference between persistence and stubbornness. So how do you distinguish one from the other?

The meaning of the dictionary is “constancy of purpose.”
Stubbornness having an unwavering determination to do something or act in a certain way. Simply, it refuses to change an individual’s thoughts, behavior, or actions regardless of outside pressure to do otherwise.
Stubbornness in children can be hereditary or a learned behavior due to environmental influences.
Dealing with stubborn children may require a little more patience and effort, as you will need to observe and understand your child’s behavior pattern carefully. Next, we will give you some tips that may help you deal with stubborn children.

Tips that may help deal with stubborn children.

You may have a stubborn child who refuses to stay in his crib or brush him aside every time you try to feed him. Or you may have a six-year-old who insists on wearing the same clothes every day and stomping his feet to challenge every rule or instruction you give him. Here are some tips that can come in handy while dealing with your child’s stubborn nature.

  1. Try to listen
    Communication is a two-way street. If you want your baby to listen, you have to be ready to hear it first. Stubborn kids may have strong opinions and tend to argue.

They may become defiant if they feel they have not heard. Most of the time, when your child insists on doing or not doing something, listening to him, and having an open conversation about what is bothering him can do the trick. For example, if your child has a tantrum to end lunch, do not force your child to feed him. Instead, ask them why they don’t want to eat and listen – it could be because they are playful or have a tummy ache.

If you want your stubborn five-year-old to listen to you, try to approach calmly, pragmatically, and not face to face.

  1. Connect with them, don’t force them
    When you force kids to do something, they tend to rebel and do whatever they shouldn’t. A better term to define this behavior is counter-will, which is a common feature of stubborn children. Counter will is instinctive and not just kids. Connect with your children.

For example, forcing your six-year-old to watch TV after bedtime won’t help. Instead, sit with them and show an interest in what they’re protecting. When you show you care, kids are more likely to respond.

Children who come into contact with their parents or caregivers want to cooperate. “Establishing an unwavering relationship with united children makes dealing with them easier,” says Susan Stifelman in her book Parenting Without Power Struggles.

Take the first step to bond with your baby today – hug him!

  1. Give them options
    Stubborn kids might have a mind of their own, and they don’t always like being told what to do. Tell your stubborn four-year-old that he should be in bed by 9 p.m., and all you’ll get from them is “No!” Aloud. Tell your stubborn five-year-old to buy a toy of your choice, and he will not want to. Give your children options, not directions. Instead of telling them to go to bed, ask them if they’re going to read a bedtime story A or B.

Your child can continue the challenge and say, “I’m not going to sleep!” When that happens, keep calm and realistically tell them, “Well, that wasn’t an option.” You can repeat the same thing as many times as needed and as quietly as possible. When you sound like a broken cylinder, your baby will most likely give up.

However, a lot of the options aren’t that good either. For example, asking your child to choose one outfit from a wardrobe may leave him confused. You can avoid this problem by reducing the options to two or three groups that you choose and asking your child to choose from among them.

  1. Stay calm
    Shouting at a defiant child and screaming will turn the normal parent-child conversation into a screaming match. Your child may take your response as an invitation to a verbal fight. That will only make matters worse. It’s up to you to steer the conversation into a practical outcome because you are an adult. Help your child understand the need to do something or act in a certain way.

Do what it takes to stay calm – meditate, exercise, or listen to music. Play soothing or soothing music at home so your children can hear. Every once in a while, turn on your child’s favorite music. This way, you can get their ‘vote’ and also enable them to relax.

  1. Please respect them
    Your child probably won’t accept authority if you force it on him. Here are some ways you can model respect in your relationship:

Ask for cooperation, and do not insist on adhering to directions.
Establish steadfast rules for all of your children and not be easygoing just because you find them comfortable.
Empathize with them – don’t ignore their feelings or thoughts.
Let your children do what they can for themselves, and avoid the temptation to do something for them, to reduce their burden also tells them that you trust them.

Say what you mean and do what you say.
According to Betsy Brown-Brown, leading by example is the mantra to follow here because your kids are watching you all the time, author of “You’re Not Your Boss.”

  1. Work with them
    Stubborn or strong-willed children are susceptible to how they are treated, so watch out for the tone, body language, and vocabulary you use. When they become uncomfortable with your behavior, they do what they know best to protect themselves: They rebel, speak up and display aggression.

Changing the way you interact with a stubborn child can change the way he interacts with you. Instead of telling them what to do, share with them.
Use phrases like “Let’s do this …” “What if we try this …” instead of “I want you to do …”.
Use fun activities to get your kids to do something. For example, if you want your stubborn child to put his toys away, start doing it yourself and ask him to be your “helper.”
You can also limit the activity time and challenge the child to put the toys away faster than you can. This is a deceptive trick that mostly works.

  1. Negotiation
    Sometimes, it is necessary to negotiate with your children. It is common for them to act when they are not getting what they want. If you want them to listen, you need to know what is stopping them from doing so.

Start by asking questions like, “What is bothering you?” “Is there anything important?” Or “Do you want anything?” To get them to talk about it. This tells them that you respect their desires and are willing to consider them.
Negotiation doesn’t necessarily mean that you always give in to their demands. It’s all about being mindful and practical.
For example, your child may not be ready to go to bed at a specific hour. Instead of insisting, try to negotiate a bedtime that works for both of you.

  1. Create an appropriate environment at home
    Children learn through observation and experience (3). If they see their parents arguing all the time, they will learn to imitate it. Marital discord between parents can lead to a stressful environment in the home, affecting the children’s mood and behavior. According to a study, marital discord may lead to social withdrawal and even aggression in children (4).
  2. Understand the child’s point of view
    To better understand your child’s stubborn behavior, try to look at the situation from his perspective. Put yourself in your child’s shoes and try to visualize what he must go through for him to behave this way. The more you know about your child, the better you can deal with his stubborn streak.

Empathize with the child without even giving in to his demands. You can understand their disappointment, anger, or frustration, and support them while you are assertive.

For example, if your child is not ready to do his homework, he feels overwhelmed with the task. If there is a lot to do or if your child is unable to focus, you can help by breaking down the homework into smaller tasks that can be completed in a short time. You can include short breaks of a minute or two between charges to make the activity less stressful.

  1. Promote positive behavior
    There will be times when you will not know what to do with stubborn children to control their anger and aggressive behavior. But if you act without thinking, they may develop a negative attitude towards the problem and even inadvertently reinforce their malicious behavior.

For example, your child might say, “No!” Almost everything you say. Think about it – do you say “no” often? If yes, then you are reinforcing the malicious behavior by example.

One way to change your child’s adverse reactions is with the “yes” game, a smart strategy recommended by marriage and family specialist Susan Stifelman.

When playing this game, your child must say “yes” or “no” to everything. Questions like “You like ice cream, don’t you?” “Do you like to play with your games?” Or “Do you want to know if your dinosaur is floating in the bathtub tomorrow?” You are more likely to get a “yes” from your child. The more your child responds positively, the more likely he will feel like being heard and appreciated.

How to deal with some common problems with a stubborn child
Here are some common issues parents are likely to encounter while dealing with a stubborn child

  1. How to train a stubborn child to use the bathroom?
    Toilet training is challenging the way it is, but it can get excruciating when dealing with a stubborn child. You can train your determined, aggressive three-year-old by:

I’m talking about.
Explain to them how this is done.
Make it fun – don’t be serious if your child refuses to use the toilet.
Remember that a stubborn child may take longer to learn to use the toilet than an obedient child. You need to be patient and work with your child to help him reach the goal, rather than pushing him towards him.

  1. How do you make a stubborn child eat?
    Kids tend to be very passionate when it comes to food. However, you cannot always feed your baby what he wants. The best way to make sure your stubborn kids get what’s right for them is to make dinner time fun.

Use creative ways to introduce food to your baby.
Have them participate at the dinner table (ask them to prepare, serve, etc.).
Encourage them to try the food (just one bite) before rejecting it. Offer them small portions of everything and let them choose.
Reward them with candy or a treat if they finish their meal.

  1. How do you punish a stubborn child?
    Children need rules and discipline. Your child should know that there will be good or bad consequences for his actions.

Make sure they are fully aware of the consequences of breaking the rules.

The consequences should be immediate, especially when you are dealing with children so that they can relate their actions to the result. Taking breaks, cutting back on playtime or watching television, and devoting little to home tasks can be a few ways to discipline a child. You can also be creative with the consequences, depending on the problem.

Remember, the idea is not to punish the child but to make them aware that their behavior is wrong.

Characteristics Of A Stubborn Child

Not every child who practices free will is stubborn. It is important to understand if your child is stubborn or determined before taking any vigorous action. Strong-willed kids can be very smart and creative. They ask a lot of questions, which may appear as rebellion. They have opinions, and they are “doing.” On the one hand, stubborn kids stick to their opinions and won’t be ready to listen to what you have to say.

Here are some other characteristics that stubborn children may display

They have an urgent need to be recognized and listened to. So they might catch your attention a lot.
They can be very independent.
They are committed and determined to do what they like.
All kids get tantrums, but stubborn kids may do so often.
They have strong leadership qualities – they can be ‘bossy’ at times.
They like to do things at their own pace.
Managing a stubborn child can be difficult, but it isn’t all bad.

Stubborn Child Psychology: Understanding Stubborn Children
If a determination is one of your strong suits, you’d love to see it in your kids too. But the hard part is knowing the difference between persistence and stubbornness. So how do you distinguish one from the other?

The meaning of the dictionary is “constancy of purpose.”
Stubbornness is defined as having an unwavering determination to do something or act in a certain way. Simply, it refuses to change an individual’s thoughts, behavior, or actions regardless of outside pressure to do otherwise.
Stubbornness in children can be hereditary or a learned behavior due to environmental influences.

Dealing with stubborn children may require a little more patience and effort, as you will need to observe and understand your child’s behavior pattern carefully. Next, we will give you some tips that may help you deal with stubborn children.

11 Tips For Understanding Your Child’s Emotional Development

How To Deal With A Stubborn Child?

One of the most important things you can do, as a parent, is to understand your child’s feelings and question the meaning of his behavior. No, you don’t need a “certification” in parenting. However, what you want to take the time is to recognize the unique qualities your baby brings with them from the moment of birth – what makes them laugh or cry, and what motivates or annoys them.

The need to understand your child’s experience

Parents often understandably look for answers to solve problems. But research shows that just being curious about the meaning of your child’s behavior helps him regulate his big emotions, think flexibly, and manage social situations. While you may sometimes not understand the meaning of your child’s behavior, simply questioning rather than misinterpreting and jumping to conclusions can be helpful. Parents play a major role in a child’s emotional development.

Some basic knowledge about emotional development can help parents contribute meaningfully to a child’s emotional development.

Tips for understanding your child’s emotional experience

Parenting is more than just providing comfort for your children. It is the child’s emotional presence, and it provides them with a feeling of security. Here are some basic child psychology tips that will help you better understand children:

  1. Observation is the key

Careful monitoring is one of the simplest and most effective ways to learn about your child’s experience. Show interest in what your children do or say. Watch their actions, expressions, and moods. Keep in mind that every child is unique. Your child will be different from you and their siblings. Ask yourself some questions that can help you understand your child’s psyche.

What does your child like to do most?

How do they react when they have to do something they don’t like, such as eating certain foods, going to bed, or doing their homework?
How are they social? Are they willing to participate or try new things?
How long does it take for your child to learn about his surroundings? Are they able to adapt to changes in the environment?

As you answer these questions, remember not to judge the child. Just notice to be informed.

  1. Spend a “great” time with your children

Fathers today are busy reconciling work and home. Multitasking, as they call it, allows them to take care of many things simultaneously, one of the “things” being the child. If you spend time with your baby this way, it is time for a change. If you want to understand your children, you need to make time for them.

Conversations with your children let you know what is happening in their life at school and at home, what their favorite music or TV shows are, what gets them excited and what doesn’t.

A good time doesn’t always mean talking or doing something together. Sometimes you can sit together and silently observe them gather some insights into their experience.

  1. Children benefit from focusing on attention

Even if it’s only for short periods, it can be helpful to focus your full attention on being and listening to your baby. You can spend a lot of time with them while doing other tasks like cooking dinner and taking them to school. This time is important, too. But even 10 minutes of “special time” can go a long way toward creating a positive home environment and building your relationship with your child.

If possible, try to have activities that allow you to spend time exclusively with each child. When you give your child full attention, he feels safe and validated and more likely to open up to you.

  1. Pay attention to your child’s environment
    Research has shown that a child’s behavior and attitudes are largely shaped by the environment in which they are raised (1). The home environment can affect a child’s brain development, which in turn affects the development of their language and cognitive skills (2).

Your child’s behavior is influenced by the people around him and by the quality of interactions. Take the time to gauge the type of atmosphere created at home and school.

How To Deal With A Stubborn Child?
Understanding Your Child’s Emotional Development
  1. They have a basic knowledge of brain development
    The brain grows in relationships. Some researchers in the field of child development refer to parents as “nerve engineers.” When children interact with a caregiver who focuses on them, it helps develop connections between brain cells. The brain is shaped by the experiences a child goes through, and this, in turn, affects how he responds to different situations.

Positive interactions can influence brain development to facilitate development in a healthy way. Conversely, negative experiences such as a constant combat environment or emotional neglect can have a negative effect on brain development. According to Daniel J. Siegel, author of The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies for Nurturing Your Child’s Developing Mind, you can help your children build a solid foundation for a healthy social and emotional life, empower them to deal with challenging situations, with a basic understanding of brain functions.

  1. Listen
    Listening is important when you are having a conversation with your child. You can start a conversation to get your child to talk but then make an effort to listen to what he’s trying to say. Babies may not be able to express themselves clearly, which is why it is so helpful to pay attention to the words they use and their nonverbal cues as well.

focus on:
Tone, the way they emphasize a word or phrase.
Expressions that tell you how they feel. Try to gauge their feelings when they talk about something to understand if they like it, if they are afraid of it, or if they are nervous about it. Body language, watch out for eye contact, and how they use their hands and stance.
Not only do you have to listen, but you must also let your child know that they are being heard and take them seriously. Acknowledge what he’s saying and respond to let him know that you are trying to understand what he’s saying. If you don’t understand, ask questions for clarification. But be careful not to talk too much or ask too many questions, as this can lead to disconnections.

  1. Children express feelings in different ways

Besides talking, children express their feelings through activities.

If your kids love to draw, write, or act, encourage them to do so often. Taking art or painting classes can help them express themselves better. Your child may choose to keep a diary in which he can write about what they did on a certain day and how they felt about it. The more your child writes or draws, the better he can express himself.
Show your interest in their artwork, but be careful not to overinterpret it, or else you may end up distracting your emotions like theirs. If you misunderstand their work, take time to resolve the misunderstanding.

  1. Ask questions that encourage communication

If you want your child to share their intentions, certain types of questions can help. Instead of asking, “Do you like this song?” Which calls for a “yes” or “no,” ask, “What do you think about this song?” Which will provide an opportunity for your child to say more.

While you may not have an answer to the questions, your child raises, ignoring a child’s question as silly can discourage him from asking any questions in the future.

  1. Educate yourself about child development

Some understanding of child development gathered from books or professionals may be helpful. But always remember that you are the expert regarding your child. An excessive parenting counseling culture can undermine a parent’s normal experience.

  1. Show empathy

When you take your child’s feelings seriously while telling them that you may not have the exact same feelings, you are helping them possess their emotional experience. For example, a young child may have a meltdown because he cannot find his or her red drinking cup but must instead use the green one.

Their strong emotions come from feelings of helplessness and frustration. While you do not have the same feelings and may think that the difference is not important, taking their feelings seriously while setting limits on their behavior shows them that you respect their point of view.

  1. Understand your child’s temperament

Every child has a unique set of traits and ways to interact with the world. Some are more likely to be flexible while others are comfortable with the routine. Some are likable, while others are very sensitive to different forms of sensory input. Children have different ways of dealing with transformations and change. Starting at birth, observing your baby’s special way of being in the world can support his healthy development.

Take the challenge

Understanding your child’s emotional development takes time and effort. If you have more than one child, then each child will be different. While a consistent parenting style can be beneficial and reassuring for all of your children, being flexible according to each child’s unique mood is important. The time and care you take to understand your child’s emotional experience will help develop a healthy adult.

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